I am still here, don’t think me gone.
I’ve not been into writing whatever lately. It’s been tough couple of months since New Years. A lot of personal stuff happened. Things happened and I figured them out as they came along but at one point you can take that much before the wave crushes you. And when the wave is your own disappointment in the shiny pretty world in your head, than it’s difficult to recover fast.
Sometimes stuff happens. It humbles you in ways you never thought possible. Makes you see clearly for a first time in years. Makes you reconsider and acknowledge. Makes you take responsibility and makes you ask for forgiveness. Makes you realise you are not what you thought but that is a good thing - because you have the potential to be the best version of yourself and this is the only version that is worth the effort.
I found out that it would be wonderful to work what you love but it is more wonderful to love what you work. Chasing dreams is a beautiful thing but reality is this - whatever you do for the time being, you should do it with heart and soul, and love. You should do it the best way you are capable.
I found out I should not be full of myself. Life has been incredibly kind to me, I have the most amazing family and friends and I was blessed with having all my dreams coming true. This has made me a bit full of myself and it is good to have situations that humble me and bring my feet back on solid ground.
I found out in great stress, I forget to be grateful. And one should always be grateful, now and forever, for all the blessings and joy, for the little things and the big ones, for the crap that makes us grow, and for the lessons that need to be taught.
One should listen, because it’s painful to ignore what is said to you.
For the last few years I’ve been incredibly happy, more so than I ever thought possible. I intend 2012 to be the best one yet and that are some high standards to reach. But I believe it possible. For once in my life I certainly know I have things figured out. And by that I mean, I know I don’t know shit. But it’s a start, right?